Henry VIII, Act 5 Scene 4 runs 95 lines of dialogue, spoken by 3 speakers. That is shorter than the play’s average scene length of about 190 lines. This scene is part of Act 5 of Henry VIII.
Full Dialogue
Porter ♂
You'll leave your noise anon, ye rascals: do you
take the court for Paris-garden? ye rude slaves,
leave your gaping.
Good master porter, I belong to the larder.
Belong to the gallows, and be hanged, ye rogue! is
this a place to roar in? Fetch me a dozen crab-tree
staves, and strong ones: these are but switches to
'em. I'll scratch your heads: you must be seeing
christenings? do you look for ale and cakes here,
you rude rascals?
take the court for Paris-garden? ye rude slaves,
leave your gaping.
Good master porter, I belong to the larder.
Belong to the gallows, and be hanged, ye rogue! is
this a place to roar in? Fetch me a dozen crab-tree
staves, and strong ones: these are but switches to
'em. I'll scratch your heads: you must be seeing
christenings? do you look for ale and cakes here,
you rude rascals?
Man ♂
Pray, sir, be patient: 'tis as much impossible–
Unless we sweep 'em from the door with cannons–
To scatter 'em, as 'tis to make 'em sleep
On May-day morning; which will never be:
We may as well push against Powle's, as stir em.
Unless we sweep 'em from the door with cannons–
To scatter 'em, as 'tis to make 'em sleep
On May-day morning; which will never be:
We may as well push against Powle's, as stir em.
Porter ♂
How got they in, and be hang'd?
Man ♂
Alas, I know not; how gets the tide in?
As much as one sound cudgel of four foot–
You see the poor remainder–could distribute,
I made no spare, sir.
As much as one sound cudgel of four foot–
You see the poor remainder–could distribute,
I made no spare, sir.
Porter ♂
You did nothing, sir.
Man ♂
I am not Samson, nor Sir Guy, nor Colbrand,
To mow 'em down before me: but if I spared any
That had a head to hit, either young or old,
He or she, cuckold or cuckold-maker,
Let me ne'er hope to see a chine again
And that I would not for a cow, God save her!
Do you hear, master porter?
To mow 'em down before me: but if I spared any
That had a head to hit, either young or old,
He or she, cuckold or cuckold-maker,
Let me ne'er hope to see a chine again
And that I would not for a cow, God save her!
Do you hear, master porter?
Porter ♂
I shall be with you presently, good master puppy.
Keep the door close, sirrah.
Keep the door close, sirrah.
Man ♂
What would you have me do?
Porter ♂
What should you do, but knock 'em down by the
dozens? Is this Moorfields to muster in? or have
we some strange Indian with the great tool come to
court, the women so besiege us? Bless me, what a
fry of fornication is at door! On my Christian
conscience, this one christening will beget a
thousand; here will be father, godfather, and all together.
dozens? Is this Moorfields to muster in? or have
we some strange Indian with the great tool come to
court, the women so besiege us? Bless me, what a
fry of fornication is at door! On my Christian
conscience, this one christening will beget a
thousand; here will be father, godfather, and all together.
Man ♂
The spoons will be the bigger, sir. There is a
fellow somewhat near the door, he should be a
brazier by his face, for, o' my conscience, twenty
of the dog-days now reign in's nose; all that stand
about him are under the line, they need no other
penance: that fire-drake did I hit three times on
the head, and three times was his nose discharged
against me; he stands there, like a mortar-piece, to
blow us. There was a haberdasher's wife of small
wit near him, that railed upon me till her pinked
porringer fell off her head, for kindling such a
combustion in the state. I missed the meteor once,
and hit that woman; who cried out 'Clubs!' when I
might see from far some forty truncheoners draw to
her succor, which were the hope o' the Strand, where
she was quartered. They fell on; I made good my
place: at length they came to the broom-staff to
me; I defied 'em still: when suddenly a file of
boys behind 'em, loose shot, delivered such a shower
of pebbles, that I was fain to draw mine honour in,
and let 'em win the work: the devil was amongst
'em, I think, surely.
fellow somewhat near the door, he should be a
brazier by his face, for, o' my conscience, twenty
of the dog-days now reign in's nose; all that stand
about him are under the line, they need no other
penance: that fire-drake did I hit three times on
the head, and three times was his nose discharged
against me; he stands there, like a mortar-piece, to
blow us. There was a haberdasher's wife of small
wit near him, that railed upon me till her pinked
porringer fell off her head, for kindling such a
combustion in the state. I missed the meteor once,
and hit that woman; who cried out 'Clubs!' when I
might see from far some forty truncheoners draw to
her succor, which were the hope o' the Strand, where
she was quartered. They fell on; I made good my
place: at length they came to the broom-staff to
me; I defied 'em still: when suddenly a file of
boys behind 'em, loose shot, delivered such a shower
of pebbles, that I was fain to draw mine honour in,
and let 'em win the work: the devil was amongst
'em, I think, surely.
Porter ♂
These are the youths that thunder at a playhouse,
and fight for bitten apples; that no audience, but
the tribulation of Tower-hill, or the limbs of
Limehouse, their dear brothers, are able to endure.
I have some of 'em in Limbo Patrum, and there they
are like to dance these three days; besides the
running banquet of two beadles that is to come.
and fight for bitten apples; that no audience, but
the tribulation of Tower-hill, or the limbs of
Limehouse, their dear brothers, are able to endure.
I have some of 'em in Limbo Patrum, and there they
are like to dance these three days; besides the
running banquet of two beadles that is to come.
Chamberlain ♂
Mercy o' me, what a multitude are here!
They grow still too; from all parts they are coming,
As if we kept a fair here! Where are these porters,
These lazy knaves? Ye have made a fine hand, fellows:
There's a trim rabble let in: are all these
Your faithful friends o' the suburbs? We shall have
Great store of room, no doubt, left for the ladies,
When they pass back from the christening.
They grow still too; from all parts they are coming,
As if we kept a fair here! Where are these porters,
These lazy knaves? Ye have made a fine hand, fellows:
There's a trim rabble let in: are all these
Your faithful friends o' the suburbs? We shall have
Great store of room, no doubt, left for the ladies,
When they pass back from the christening.
Porter ♂
An't please
your honour,
We are but men; and what so many may do,
Not being torn a-pieces, we have done:
An army cannot rule 'em.
your honour,
We are but men; and what so many may do,
Not being torn a-pieces, we have done:
An army cannot rule 'em.
Chamberlain ♂
As I live,
If the king blame me for't, I'll lay ye all
By the heels, and suddenly; and on your heads
Clap round fines for neglect: ye are lazy knaves;
And here ye lie baiting of bombards, when
Ye should do service. Hark! the trumpets sound;
They're come already from the christening:
Go, break among the press, and find a way out
To let the troop pass fairly; or I'll find
A Marshalsea shall hold ye play these two months.
If the king blame me for't, I'll lay ye all
By the heels, and suddenly; and on your heads
Clap round fines for neglect: ye are lazy knaves;
And here ye lie baiting of bombards, when
Ye should do service. Hark! the trumpets sound;
They're come already from the christening:
Go, break among the press, and find a way out
To let the troop pass fairly; or I'll find
A Marshalsea shall hold ye play these two months.
Porter ♂
Make way there for the princess.
Man ♂
You great fellow,
Stand close up, or I'll make your head ache.
Stand close up, or I'll make your head ache.
Porter ♂
You i' the camlet, get up o' the rail;
I'll peck you o'er the pales else.
I'll peck you o'er the pales else.
95 lines rendered verbatim from the dialogue corpus.
Who’s On Stage
Speaking characters in this scene
| Character | Lines | Share |
|---|---|---|
| Man | 41 | 43.2% |
| Porter | 36 | 37.9% |
| Chamberlain | 18 | 18.9% |
Line distribution
The top speaker in this scene delivers 41 lines, while the scene’s average per speaker is about 32 lines.
Total speakers on stage
3 named characters speak in this scene.
Scene in Context
Position within Act 5
This is Scene 4 of 5 in Act 5 of Henry VIII.
Scene length vs. play average
At 95 lines, this scene is shorter than the Henry VIII average scene in Henry VIII (~190 lines).
Adjacent scenes
Previous: Act 5 Scene 3 · Next: Act 5 Scene 5
About Act 5 Scene 4 of Henry VIII
Who carries Act 5 Scene 4 of Henry VIII?
Man, with 41 lines — about 43% of the scene.
Is the scene a dialogue or a solo?
With 3 speakers and the lead holding 43% of the lines, this scene is a balanced multi-voice exchange.